Here you are, in your thirties and practically nothing to show for it. Or at least nothing that will help you score some brownie points with your family, most of your friends, or your community at large. Sure, your great personality and impressive intellect are what you are known for, but even that is not enough to change the fact that you are a source of endless worry for your loved ones. The general consensus is that you’re a “good girl” albeit a little strange. Your choices in life though—from your lifelong dedication to academia, to your activism, or your geek leisure pursuits—provoke constant bewilderment. While some would describe you as a misunderstood eccentric, the vast majority is more likely to nominate you as mayor, president, and commander in chief of Loserville, if said place ever existed.
To be still single in your thirties is akin to the kiss of death for a Muslimah. You have officially passed your shelf life and are now relegated to the status of charity case, or better yet a cautionary tale that aunties use to discourage their young daughters from being “too difficult” when looking for a potential husband. In their eyes, singlehood is basically a virulent form of social leprosy and you my friend HAVE IT. As a sufferer of this condition, the worse possible place for you to be is at a wedding…or really any community gathering where people are likely to ask you what is new in your life. What could you possible answer that wouldn’t just reiterate the supposed sad state of affairs that is your life? “Well, Comic Con is right around the corner and this year I’m going full on steampunk”, or “I’ve been reading extensively on the Russo-Turkish War of 1768-74 and its role in the expansion of the Russian Empire. What is your take on the treaty of Kucuk Kaynarca?” are certainly not the type of answers that are likely to dispel any existing concerns or do wonders for your social life.
The truth is accepting yourself—warts and all—is a liberating, life-affirming process. Coming to terms with the fact that you will most likely NEVER be the prototype of the perfect woman has a way of putting things into perspective. Yes, your mother, friends and extended family will continue worrying about you. They will continue trying to desperately get you married…for at least a few more years and most likely to no avail. But, this is not really about them. You love them and they are full of good intentions, but this journey my friend is yours and yours alone. So, how about you just enjoy being the mayor of your little fiefdom and remain as fabulous and awkward as you’ve always been. Life is too complex, interesting and short-lived for you to wallow in self pity. So, say Alhamdulillah for all the blessings and make the best of your destiny.
Yes, all is definitely good in the singlehood.